When people hear I’m a divorce lawyer, they often picture me in courtrooms, drafting documents, or negotiating settlements. What they don’t see is the emotional weight that comes with this work—especially when child custody is involved. These cases are not just about laws and statutes. They’re about families breaking apart, parents in crisis, and children caught in the middle.
Living Through Custody Battles with My Clients
Custody cases are some of the hardest work I do. Parents often sit across from me filled with fear, anger, and heartbreak. They’re terrified of losing time with their children, and I can feel the weight of that fear in every conversation. No matter the outcome, I know a child may still feel split between two homes. That reality stays with me, long after the case is over.
Absorbing the Pain
My clients don’t just see me as their lawyer—they often see me as their confidant, sometimes even their therapist. They tell me things they may not share with anyone else: stories of betrayal, deep loneliness, or anger they don’t know how to control. I listen because they need to be heard, but the truth is, I carry those stories with me. It’s not uncommon for me to lie awake at night, replaying arguments or worrying about how a child will cope with the outcome.
Over time, this takes a toll. It’s a form of secondary trauma—absorbing my clients’ stress and suffering until it becomes my own.
Walking the Line Between Empathy and Objectivity
One of the hardest parts of my job is finding the balance between being compassionate and being objective. If I’m too detached, I risk coming across as cold at a time when my clients desperately need human understanding. If I become too emotionally invested, I risk losing the clarity and strategy they rely on me to provide. Every day, I walk that tightrope.
The Quiet Heroism in This Work
Most people don’t see the toll this job takes. They don’t see the weight I carry home at night or the quiet tears shed after a particularly brutal hearing. But I also know that in those moments when I help a parent find peace, or when a child’s best interests are truly protected, the work matters.
Family law is messy, emotional, and painful—but it’s also deeply human. And while I may not always walk away unscarred, I know that standing with families in their hardest moments is a kind of quiet heroism I wouldn’t trade.
The right lawyer can make all the difference in achieving a positive outcome in your divorce. Contact divorce attorney Debbie Cohen and Cohen Law for a complimentary consultation with an empathetic attorney who will work with you through these difficult times.
